Why is integrity undervalued?

I deal with people everyday. In my personal and professional life. Like everyone I guess.

In the last few months integrity has crossed my mind numerous times. It still completely and utterly astounds me when I come across people with a low moral compass. People who don’t choose to do the right thing. I understand sometimes that choice is difficult, but what about when it is an easy choice? Or what about when the outcome wouldn’t change, regardless of whether you are doing the right thing?

One situation comes to mind in my workplace where someone in a senior position treated me badly. The way they treated me, did not change the outcome. In fact, it had absolutely no impact on the outcome. However, they truly showed their true colours by treating me badly. Their treatment could be seen as subjective and you could say that in their eyes their actions were fine. I really don’t see it like that. That person choose to make things tough for me, they used intimidation and pressure.

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In another situation (one that I wasn’t involved in) and not in the working environment, a person treated someone I know badly. They used intimidation to come out ahead financially. Their tactics didn’t work, but the effort was there to ‘one up’ another person for a financial benefit.

It’s no use getting frustrated about things that are entirely outside of your control. But man, is it frustrating to be forced to deal with someone who doesn’t have good integrity.

I value people who have good integrity, even when the situation is uncomfortable and there is pressure or temptation to do the wrong thing.

I wish integrity came up in conversation more often.

We should talk more about the value of having a good character and good morals, and talk less about superficial things.

I’m going to try.

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Does my mood affect my eating or does my eating affect my mood?

I’ve been feeling really good this last week or so.

Exercising regularly, eating well without crazy restriction and very minimal sugar. Whenever I’m on the high road I always wonder how long it is going to last. Work has been going really well, compared to my last job from a few months ago it is awesome.

I am also just in a really good mood. All the time. Which is great, but how long will it last?

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I know this isn’t going to last and I’ve previously posted, I think, about maintaining all these positive things when things stop going well.

I don’t even know how to break down or identify when things start to go down, or even why.

Sometimes I think it’s because I stop exercising, which affects my endorphins which affects my sleep and it starts the downward cycle.

Other times I think it has something to do with my eating. Either eating a lot of processed food or sugar that affects my mood, or maybe it’s more biological than that and affects my gut. I’ve read about the link between gut health and depression. Not that I’m depressed but there is clearly a link there and I wish I knew what came first.

Does my mood affect my eating or does my eating affect my mood?

In all likelihood it is both.

So continuing this path of acceptance and self-love that I talked about in my previous post, I guess all I can do is recognise that I will go up and down. Things are never always going to be great and accepting that is a good thing. I’ve struggled a lot with quite extreme black and white thinking in the past and it’s a tough thought pattern to break.

Onward and upward xx

 

I am more than my social media profile

As you can tell by my last post social media has been on my mind lately. Something I have observed about people in general is that we try to impart our true selves on social media. Not necessarily on one outlet, but across all of them.

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For example, facebook is for friends and family, instagram is for travel and beauty, snapchat is for for quick fun snaps of my life. I haven’t put too much thought in that. It’s what first popped in to my mind. I guess I can add more layers by thinking about other social media outlets.

I am thinking about what people have assumed about me. A friend asked me recently if I wanted to join her on an ab challenge. One of those 30 day things where you do the same exercise every day to focus on a particular part of your body. I said no. But the way she asked me, it was like she thought I had never done one. I didn’t correct her, and that’s ok that she assumed that. But she made a big deal about putting it on social media and offered to share it with others that were interested.

On the one hand that is what social media is for. But I don’t tend to put that kind of thing on social media. Because I have a thing about dieting and people pushing health and fitness in unhealthy ways, I don’t do it myself.

However on the other hand, it’s almost as if because I have never put that out there in social media land it never existed.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to here it, does it make a sound?

If I go to the gym and I don’t post it on social media, did I go?

I have felt that people make assumptions about me because I don’t put deep and meaningful stuff on social media. I keep it to photos about holidays, my dog and things I like or am interested in, and sometimes causes I am passionate about. But I try not to be preachy – because that annoys me when I see others posting ‘should’ posts. You should or shouldn’t do this…..blah.

Do I make assumptions about people because of their social media presence? Maybe.

Maybe it is a vicious cycle. We feel someone make an assumption about us. To correct it we adjust what and how we post.

We all want to seem like well rounded and well adjusted individuals with fulfilling and healthy lives. But the fact is that social media masks our true lives and our true self. I catch myself posting cute and perfect snaps, or I try to make witty observations about the world around me. But the truth is I am just following the formula of social media.

People often post things about mental health or suicide awareness, and encourage their friends to copy a post. When I have had some tough times a post like that has made zero difference. I wanted to be heard. It was up to me to reach out and I did. But sometimes reaching out and offering a sympathetic ear to a friend is less impressive and a missed opportunity to check in to an awesome venue and show that we’re all having such an awesome time at some awesome event drinking awesome cocktails.

I’m getting a bit sick of the awesome.

I want real.

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