I am more than my social media profile

As you can tell by my last post social media has been on my mind lately. Something I have observed about people in general is that we try to impart our true selves on social media. Not necessarily on one outlet, but across all of them.

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For example, facebook is for friends and family, instagram is for travel and beauty, snapchat is for for quick fun snaps of my life. I haven’t put too much thought in that. It’s what first popped in to my mind. I guess I can add more layers by thinking about other social media outlets.

I am thinking about what people have assumed about me. A friend asked me recently if I wanted to join her on an ab challenge. One of those 30 day things where you do the same exercise every day to focus on a particular part of your body. I said no. But the way she asked me, it was like she thought I had never done one. I didn’t correct her, and that’s ok that she assumed that. But she made a big deal about putting it on social media and offered to share it with others that were interested.

On the one hand that is what social media is for. But I don’t tend to put that kind of thing on social media. Because I have a thing about dieting and people pushing health and fitness in unhealthy ways, I don’t do it myself.

However on the other hand, it’s almost as if because I have never put that out there in social media land it never existed.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to here it, does it make a sound?

If I go to the gym and I don’t post it on social media, did I go?

I have felt that people make assumptions about me because I don’t put deep and meaningful stuff on social media. I keep it to photos about holidays, my dog and things I like or am interested in, and sometimes causes I am passionate about. But I try not to be preachy – because that annoys me when I see others posting ‘should’ posts. You should or shouldn’t do this…..blah.

Do I make assumptions about people because of their social media presence? Maybe.

Maybe it is a vicious cycle. We feel someone make an assumption about us. To correct it we adjust what and how we post.

We all want to seem like well rounded and well adjusted individuals with fulfilling and healthy lives. But the fact is that social media masks our true lives and our true self. I catch myself posting cute and perfect snaps, or I try to make witty observations about the world around me. But the truth is I am just following the formula of social media.

People often post things about mental health or suicide awareness, and encourage their friends to copy a post. When I have had some tough times a post like that has made zero difference. I wanted to be heard. It was up to me to reach out and I did. But sometimes reaching out and offering a sympathetic ear to a friend is less impressive and a missed opportunity to check in to an awesome venue and show that we’re all having such an awesome time at some awesome event drinking awesome cocktails.

I’m getting a bit sick of the awesome.

I want real.

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The dysfunction of social media

I’ve been thinking lately about how social media is dysfunctional. I know that we all know that, and I’m not thinking about dysfunction in the broader sense, as in the pretense of it all. No, I’m thinking more on the micro level. The nuances between friends. Those little thoughts that cross your minds before you hit like. Or maybe it’s only me.

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I have some friends who are generous with their likes and comments and in turn I am generous with my likes and comments. I like the bulk of their posts. Mostly. When I see them anyway. But my point is that nothing crosses my mind before I like a post other than whether I actually like or appreciate the post in some way.

Other friends however….and I mean the complicated friendships. We all have those. Well women do anyway. The ones where you seem to like their posts, but they never ever ever like yours. And you know they are on social media. They post, they are there. There are so many watchers. And no this is not a blog about the different types of social media users.

I guess my point is that social media for me has created a loud speaker for those dysfunctional friendships. Without social media those dysfunctional friendships would be so different. It’s hard to imagine what they would be like. But I imagine ‘like hesitation’ would be replaced by awkwardness over the phone or in person.

Second thinking over an event invitation would be replaced by forced honesty. In the real world when we send invites and ask for an RSVP there is no maybe or interested option. Be a grown up and decide.

The chronic event responder (we all have a friend like that…the one that is interested in way too many events that are humanly possible to even attend) would be replaced by the gig guide clipper. Now it feels like the nineties.gig_guide.jpg

I guess I’m feeling like social media has added a complication to some of my friendships that I am trying to let go of.

Life is too short for complications and ‘like hesitation’.

Like, love, share.

I do love social media, it makes me feel closer to some friends but it can make me very aware of barriers with others.

Here is an old buzz feed video that made me giggle. I know I know, Buzzfeed is so 2013!