The last couple of weeks in dot points

  • Feeling positive, feeling negative, repeat
  • Good mood, sad mood, repeat
  • Two binges and generally I haven’t been eating healthy
  • Work stress isn’t helping
  • Finally feeling like I’m on top of things in the last couple of days
  • Trying to do more meal preparation (usually I prepare lunch for the next day, this week I have prepped a few days worth of food)
  • Today I’m feeling good. I’m feeling less stressed. I slept well last night, which helps my eating in such a big way.

Will try for another update soon when not so busy

xx

Happy, but nothing to do with Pharrell

Hi!

Health and mood are funny things.

I don’t know what it is, but for the last couple of weeks I have been in an incredibly good mood. I am cheerful all the time (seriously, I am). It’s not that I am not usually happy, I am usually in a good mood. But, I have my ups and downs. And when I’m down I have my binges and etc, I’ve talked about that before so won’t go into it again. And I also have days where I struggle with motivation and procrastination.

I don’t know what’s with me lately but I’m feeling very positive, energetic and happy.

Nothing much has changed. I have had a holiday recently so that could have put pep in my step (sorry that was corny, I don’t usually use the term ‘pep’).

So just to analyse what I have been doing differently over the past few weeks since my holiday:

  • I’ve been trying to get more out of my days, particularly now that it’s winter and the days are shorter (reminder I live in Australia) so I have been starting work earlier so that I can finish earlier. Luckily I have that flexibility. It means that I get some daylight at the end of the day rather than getting home in the dark, usually that gets me down towards the end of winter. I’m doing it mostly for my dog, so I can take him for a walk at the end of the day.
  • Because I’m starting early I’m also trying to make sure I get enough sleep so that I can get up earlier. I’m naturally a night person so on weekends and holidays I stay up later and get up later. But also the older I get the earlier I get up in the morning. How clichéd, haha.
  • I haven’t been stressing so much about diet, weight, blah. I should be. I probably put on a kilo or two over my holiday plus Easter. But I’m just not. I’m eating healthy, most of the time, but I’m also not stressing about eating perfectly. It’s not possible for me, I get too obsessive then I crave things and then the bad binge cycle starts. If I want something, I eat it. Then I make up for it.

Reflecting on this, I guess it’s the combination of being stress-free because of my holiday, feeling well rested and not having anxiety over weight and diet, that has resulted in me feeling good.

I am going to embrace this feeling of wellbeing and happiness! Bring it on, if only every day could be like this!

It’s been awhile, trying to get back into the swing of it

This will just be a short update.

I’ve been away on holidays and although I’ve been back for a while it’s been hard getting back into my routine. In the couple of weeks before I left the slow carb thing was going well. But I couldn’t maintain it while on holiday and on the move. So I put it on hold with the intent of going back to it as soon as I got back. But a few weeks later and I still haven’t.

And Easter. The dreaded Easter. Too much chocolate and no willpower to say no. I eat it straight away!

If I was an alcoholic people wouldn’t buy me bottles of wine! So frustrating! But how do you say no to people that are trying to do something nice. They don’t know what’s going on in my head.

Although I have eaten so much chocolate over the last week or so, it has almost run out thank goodness. So my goal for this weekend is to get back onto the wagon, not worry about the past and just move forward. Return to my routine, stock up the pantry and fridge with good, healthy food (which I really miss).

Sometimes I really hate my ‘irrational self’

I’ve been thinking about rational versus irrational. It’s interesting how I can feel totally positive, in control and rational in one moment; and then a few seconds later I can do a 180 and feel the total opposite.

Is it that I’m over sensitive and when something is out of my control I have a big reaction? Maybe. I can be controlling about some elements of my life, but not all. Obviously not all because I have experienced that total loss of control when binge eating.

This post kind of links with a previous one on positivity and negativity.

I thought I’d try to break it down and identify what goes through my head when I’m feeling irrational, maybe then if I can identify it, I can tell myself that I’m being irrational and talk myself into a more positive place.

It’s my irrational self that:

  • tells me to weigh myself every morning
  • makes me feel down on myself when I’m not happy with that figure on the scales or it inexplicably goes up for no reason at all
  • makes me think that food will be a comfort

When I feel strong and positive my ‘rational self’ is in control and:

  • tells me not to worry about what’s on the scales, because right now I am focussing on being healthy and getting my binge eating under control
  • takes joy in the fact that my bingeing is getting under control
  • tells me that my mildly underactive thyroid makes it harder for me to lose weight, it’s not impossible but progress will be slower
  • tells me that being healthy is better than being thin
  • reminds me that I have an injury that needs a couple more weeks to heal so exercise is on the back burner for a little while