Sometimes I really hate my ‘irrational self’

I’ve been thinking about rational versus irrational. It’s interesting how I can feel totally positive, in control and rational in one moment; and then a few seconds later I can do a 180 and feel the total opposite.

Is it that I’m over sensitive and when something is out of my control I have a big reaction? Maybe. I can be controlling about some elements of my life, but not all. Obviously not all because I have experienced that total loss of control when binge eating.

This post kind of links with a previous one on positivity and negativity.

I thought I’d try to break it down and identify what goes through my head when I’m feeling irrational, maybe then if I can identify it, I can tell myself that I’m being irrational and talk myself into a more positive place.

It’s my irrational self that:

  • tells me to weigh myself every morning
  • makes me feel down on myself when I’m not happy with that figure on the scales or it inexplicably goes up for no reason at all
  • makes me think that food will be a comfort

When I feel strong and positive my ‘rational self’ is in control and:

  • tells me not to worry about what’s on the scales, because right now I am focussing on being healthy and getting my binge eating under control
  • takes joy in the fact that my bingeing is getting under control
  • tells me that my mildly underactive thyroid makes it harder for me to lose weight, it’s not impossible but progress will be slower
  • tells me that being healthy is better than being thin
  • reminds me that I have an injury that needs a couple more weeks to heal so exercise is on the back burner for a little while

Naturopath, thyroid and wheat

Late last year I visited a naturopath because I was struggling to lose weight. It was at a time when I didn’t really acknowledge my issues with food. I’m not quite sure what I was thinking when I did binge, but listening to others speak on the Quit Binge Eating podcast it’s quite common to a) not realise you’re binge eating at the moment (I recall sometimes stopping, and realising I had been eating) and b) when I think back I don’t think I remember all the binge eating that I’ve done over the years, it kind of blends into the background.

Anyway, so I went to the naturopath to get some advice about losing weight. I wanted to lose weight in a healthy way and weightwatchers had never worked for me, and I hated lite and easy food (yuck). Friends had done juice fasts but the results never last.

When you first visit a naturopath they get you to do blood tests to check for the usual things, one being thyroid.

When I went to the GP to pick up my results, he said everything was normal.

I took my result to the naturopath and she said that my thyroid was mildly underactive (hypothyroid). I told her what the GP had said and she said that in the view of mainstream medical practitioners their window for normal is much smaller, but she advised that if I look after my diet (more fruit and veg) and take herbal supplements I can help my thyroid issue before it gets so bad it has an impact and I need to take medication.


So as a result of my mild thyroid issue I find it a bit harder to lose weight – it’s not impossible, but progress is slow.

I’ve been reading up on the link between gluten/wheat and hypothyroidism and even though I won’t get into the technical stuff, people who have hypothyroidism are generally encouraged to avoid wheat. (Google wheat and thyroid for more info)

So I’m going to do a test. I’m going to cut out wheat for a bit to see if that has any impact on my weight or how I feel.

I think it’s going to be tough because I love bread!  I don’t eat white bread or anything, or even that much bread. But I love wholemeal pitta bread and often use it to make a quick healthy pizza or wrap.

So here we go.

Wish me luck.