I’ve been thinking about rational versus irrational. It’s interesting how I can feel totally positive, in control and rational in one moment; and then a few seconds later I can do a 180 and feel the total opposite.
Is it that I’m over sensitive and when something is out of my control I have a big reaction? Maybe. I can be controlling about some elements of my life, but not all. Obviously not all because I have experienced that total loss of control when binge eating.
I thought I’d try to break it down and identify what goes through my head when I’m feeling irrational, maybe then if I can identify it, I can tell myself that I’m being irrational and talk myself into a more positive place.
It’s my irrational self that:
- tells me to weigh myself every morning
- makes me feel down on myself when I’m not happy with that figure on the scales or it inexplicably goes up for no reason at all
- makes me think that food will be a comfort
When I feel strong and positive my ‘rational self’ is in control and:
- tells me not to worry about what’s on the scales, because right now I am focussing on being healthy and getting my binge eating under control
- takes joy in the fact that my bingeing is getting under control
- tells me that my mildly underactive thyroid makes it harder for me to lose weight, it’s not impossible but progress will be slower
- tells me that being healthy is better than being thin
- reminds me that I have an injury that needs a couple more weeks to heal so exercise is on the back burner for a little while