Why is integrity undervalued?

I deal with people everyday. In my personal and professional life. Like everyone I guess.

In the last few months integrity has crossed my mind numerous times. It still completely and utterly astounds me when I come across people with a low moral compass. People who don’t choose to do the right thing. I understand sometimes that choice is difficult, but what about when it is an easy choice? Or what about when the outcome wouldn’t change, regardless of whether you are doing the right thing?

One situation comes to mind in my workplace where someone in a senior position treated me badly. The way they treated me, did not change the outcome. In fact, it had absolutely no impact on the outcome. However, they truly showed their true colours by treating me badly. Their treatment could be seen as subjective and you could say that in their eyes their actions were fine. I really don’t see it like that. That person choose to make things tough for me, they used intimidation and pressure.

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In another situation (one that I wasn’t involved in) and not in the working environment, a person treated someone I know badly. They used intimidation to come out ahead financially. Their tactics didn’t work, but the effort was there to ‘one up’ another person for a financial benefit.

It’s no use getting frustrated about things that are entirely outside of your control. But man, is it frustrating to be forced to deal with someone who doesn’t have good integrity.

I value people who have good integrity, even when the situation is uncomfortable and there is pressure or temptation to do the wrong thing.

I wish integrity came up in conversation more often.

We should talk more about the value of having a good character and good morals, and talk less about superficial things.

I’m going to try.

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The dysfunction of social media

I’ve been thinking lately about how social media is dysfunctional. I know that we all know that, and I’m not thinking about dysfunction in the broader sense, as in the pretense of it all. No, I’m thinking more on the micro level. The nuances between friends. Those little thoughts that cross your minds before you hit like. Or maybe it’s only me.

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I have some friends who are generous with their likes and comments and in turn I am generous with my likes and comments. I like the bulk of their posts. Mostly. When I see them anyway. But my point is that nothing crosses my mind before I like a post other than whether I actually like or appreciate the post in some way.

Other friends however….and I mean the complicated friendships. We all have those. Well women do anyway. The ones where you seem to like their posts, but they never ever ever like yours. And you know they are on social media. They post, they are there. There are so many watchers. And no this is not a blog about the different types of social media users.

I guess my point is that social media for me has created a loud speaker for those dysfunctional friendships. Without social media those dysfunctional friendships would be so different. It’s hard to imagine what they would be like. But I imagine ‘like hesitation’ would be replaced by awkwardness over the phone or in person.

Second thinking over an event invitation would be replaced by forced honesty. In the real world when we send invites and ask for an RSVP there is no maybe or interested option. Be a grown up and decide.

The chronic event responder (we all have a friend like that…the one that is interested in way too many events that are humanly possible to even attend) would be replaced by the gig guide clipper. Now it feels like the nineties.gig_guide.jpg

I guess I’m feeling like social media has added a complication to some of my friendships that I am trying to let go of.

Life is too short for complications and ‘like hesitation’.

Like, love, share.

I do love social media, it makes me feel closer to some friends but it can make me very aware of barriers with others.

Here is an old buzz feed video that made me giggle. I know I know, Buzzfeed is so 2013!