The day started off okay. I went out for lunch with friends, had a couple of glasses of wine. Then I stopped at the shops on my way home. I should have just gone straight home, there was nothing I needed to get that couldn’t wait.
I don’t know what came over me. I kept on putting item after item in my shopping basket. Food that I didn’t need: chips, popcorn, chocolate and biscuits.
When I got home I picked at everything, but I didn’t finish anything.
Initially I had this weird excitement, and then when I started eating I just didn’t want it and felt awful. But I kept on picking at it.
It didn’t go as long as some binges. I started with one item. Then would stop. Then I’d start again with the next item.
Even after the first couple of bites I realised I didn’t want it. But I didn’t stop straight away.
I still have the food sitting on my kitchen table. I’ve put it into a plastic bag. I know if I keep it in the house I risk eating it later tonight or tomorrow. I’m going to throw it in the rubbish bin outside.
I feel sick and awful.